Thursday, June 2, 2011

Beauty is more than skin deep

I'm still losing, slowly, but losing, which is fantastic. The best part is that I am starting to feel beautiful again. I'm definitely not a model by any stretch of the word; but I'm becoming more and more comfortable with me. Learning my curves, and how to accent the good ones while hiding the not so good ones. I am doing my hair and make up, and accepting compliments. I am beginning to believe that when people say I look nice, they aren't necessarily thinking, "for a fat girl."

In fact I'm beginning to realize that I'm the one thinking, "for a fat girl." I look at myself and realize I have never been the "right" size in my own eyes. So I just let myself go, because it was easier, because I just didn't like myself. Now I look back at the few pictures I have of me, because I would always hide from the camera, and realize I was a pretty girl. Even when I was "huge" there was still a beautiful woman there. My beauty is just that, my beauty. It is how I look, who I am, it is how I embrace myself. I want my daughters to know their beauty, and they need to have a mom who knows her own beauty in order for them to understand theirs. I think I'm finally getting there, it's only taken 29 and 1/2 years, but I'm getting there.

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